Death Bed Regret List II

the names of some of the people I mention have been changed so they dont look at me next time I see them and go "OMG, you wanted to do me?"

Tralala: She was truly the most exquisite woman to have ever batted her eyelashes at moi. Long, straight, naturally black hair past her waist, perfect C cup breasts, thick black eyelashes, perfectly shaped black eyebrows, a models smile with wicked full red lips. She was 5ft 11, long limbed and slender with unblemished alabaster skin. To sum Tralala up in 2 words, "effortlessly gorgeous".

We both worked behind a bar in a rather awful nightclub on the goldcoast. Things were coo coo on the first night I worked, which sadly was a Saturday night during schoolies! I needed to escape the bar so Tralala offered to show me the spot where the staff could hide out from punters and have a few minutes peace.

Outside on the fire escape we sat, a warm night, having a cigarette. Tralala was wearing a hot pink paisley bikini top with black, silver buttoned pants. She asked me if I wanted to see her pierced nipples. I sure did. I was getting the picture pretty quick at this point and asked when she was finishing up and if she wanted to go out after work. She did. At this point I admit I was high fiving myself and in the words of Southern Culture on the Skids "baby, you make me, walk, like a camel", I began to truly strut.

We head back to the bar flirting and I start to feel a bit wheezy. Yes, I was the stupid smoking asthmatic. I went to my bag to find my puffer but there was no puffer to be seen. I looked through all my pockets, through my bag a second time and no puffer. Then I started to panic a bit and the asthma got worse. I concluded I would have to catch a cab home to get my spare puffer and rush back for my new girlfriend who I was already daydreaming about spending the rest of my life with.

Cab home, rush inside, grab puffer, cab to club. Frantic, whilst trying to remain cool, searching for Tralala, no signs of her anywhere. I ask the bar staff and she had gone home with the other newbie of that night. My personality quickly transformed into something resembling a huge hotair balloon that was deflated all over the place and just looking flacid and useless. I ordered a beer, drank it, slowly and headed home. My best mate Nushka was up and I told her the whole sorry tale. She was fairly unsympathetic and pointed out how dumb I was to smoke and what I could actually have been doing that night rather than sitting in her kitchen all miserable.

I worked there for a few more weeks, occasionally our paths would cross but she never showed any interest again. She would have made an amazing muse. She could have been my amazing muse. If only, if only, if only went the mantra.....

I imagine Tralala will forever be on my D.B.R.L. I'm off to sob into a hot milo now....