Ten of Fifty-Two: French Poodles

With the amount of pride some people show parading their miniature poodles around all shaved up like Dennis Rodman you'd think it was a major feat to pin a small dog down and shape its fuzz into Gucci logos. This is especially so when those folk whine about the selfless sacrafices made to do it. Sacrafice? Really? From my first hand vouyeristic experience it never looked so hard.

My wife has, for some time, been manicuring her Bichon Frise into something that is pleasing to the eye and stimulating for those with an artistic bent. Once a groomers client, she is now doing her own grooming. I can't believe there is a giant poodle grooming industry. (Or an industry grooming giant poodles, for that matter.)


Now don't get me wrong: I can appreciate the contrast of shaved/fuzzy patches on an Airedale, and being able to pick out the curves and intricate folds of a Shar-Pei, but I also love the look a bitch who is as shaggy as hell.

Anyway, to test my theory tonight I groomed my Luzerner Laufhund (or Lucernese Hound) in to a funky little configuration. The result: I am happy to concede that a bold hound such as the Laufhund doesn't suit poncy groomage. This was supported when I showed my wife and she gave a catagorical "hmmph... OK, whatever....". Underwhleming.

Anyway, I proved my point. If you want to shape your pet all you have to do is put up with a little pain and the horrible anticipation of doing the dog to your dog. It's not that hard, and ultimately it's probably for your own satisfaction, so don't come to me whining like a Weimaraner if you feel the need to groom.